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Warrior Dash: where the weak go to die

Tomorrow’s to-do list: visit little Maggie!

As yesterday’s post promised, today I’ll be telling you a little bit about my experience doing the Warrior Dash. Fair warning, this was an EPIC experience, and therefore requires a bit of my long-winded story telling!

For those of you who don’t know, the Warrior Dash is a 5k race that takes place in different locations around the country. However, it isn’t your normal 5k, it also includes several obstacles…and for those of us lucky enough to do it in Minnesota, it also included a killer hill. Basically, it’s more of an obstacle course where you run in between each obstacle–it’s deadly. Really only in the sense that it killed any image I had of myself as in-shape and somewhat athletic. Despite the warning on the website (and the insane training it suggested, the one I found about twelve weeks too late), I, along with Maren (who, now that it’s over, I can thank for brilliantly suggesting we try it out), Brian, and Elise signed up for the race and together we decided to test our physical and mental endurance.

You gotta love the enthusiasm!

I started out thinking this was going to be completely doable, albeit difficult. And the fact I am slightly traumatized is due to my own mistake of running a combined 2.8 miles during June and July. Needless to say by the time race week approached, I was starting to freak out.

This is me freaking out

Luckily, however, we made shirts. And for some reason, painted shirts make everything seem better.


Plus they said team Lamb Famb…you see, we’re all part of the Lamb family (pronounced like the animal) so we added a b to the end of Fam…get it? Be thankful this was our name, because we came up with a lot of duds before we were able to reach this gem.

So anyway, after the four of us arrived at the race site and ensured our numbers and racing chips were secured, we stood in line waiting for the race to start. At this point, I start to panic a little. Mostly because we are surrounded by very physically fit people, my cohorts included, but I am still feeling optimistic. I do some stretches (mostly making a mockery of myself and anyone else who has ever stretched ever) and I’m ready to go. Now at this point I know it’s going to be bad, but I still think it’s going to be bearable, despite the fact I hate running and it’s hot out. In my mind I have myself keeping up a steady but slow jog (with incremental walking), by the end I would feel refreshed from the exercise and proud. I should have known, because it seems I too often have unrealistic expectations, that this would not be the case.

The first part of the course was a steep incline, and by the time I had reached about a third of the way up I knew I wasn’t going to finish strong. Instead of Usain Bolt, I was going to be the Michael Scott of the race. I was going to be the one who misguidedly carbed up, trash talked, and then dramatically finished…long after everyone else.


Michel Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure

Michel Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure. Photo C/O:


Thankfully, out of the 25,000 people who competed in the race that weekend, I would guess that about 8,000 of us were Michael Scotts. I was in good company. Plus, they really do make it worth it by giving you these awesome hats at the end:


I'm still not sure I'm a hat person...


This is us after we showered…or should I say, after Elise, Brian, and Maren showered:

We are awesome!

Climbing walls, jumping over fire, dodging barbwire, sinking and swimming through mud turned out to be an awesomely fun time.  I especially enjoyed the mud splashing and throwing we partook in after the race (yay, Lamb Famb—BAAA!). Thankfully, next year I’ll be a little more prepared and it will probably be me that beats the 16.00 time (yep, some insane individual completed a 5k—and a bunch of obstacles—in a mere 16 minutes)! Anyone else brave enough to become a Warrior?


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